Laura E.

is like a turd that won't flush.

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The Basics

Location: Buffalo, for the summer.
Hometown:

Buffalo, New York
Gender:

female
Birthday:

September 30, 1987
Sexual Orientation:

straight
Relationship Status:

single

Profile updated: Aug 09, 2008
Last signed in: Nov 29, 2008
Member since: Mar 31, 2008

Friends

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Bryan S.

Carol S.

Angela M.

Laura E.'s Popular Tags

black and white (27)

santa monica (5)

beach (5)

buffalo (4)

homie (4)

creepy as fuck (3)

drama (3)

architecture (2)

cat (2)

hair (2)

shadows (2)

boy (2)

pier (2)

california (2)

boardwalk (2)

empty (2)

paris (2)

winter (2)

fire (1)

short fiction (1)

Status

Laura hasn't watched porn in over a month, and is consequently dying inside.

Spotlight

About Me

People say I'm:

obsessive, long-haired, subversive, smarmy, grungy, loud, entertaining, gross, a jerkface.
Describe Yourself:

I plan on spending the next four years learning how to do something I don't like to get a degree I'll never use. Creative writing sucks balls.

My grandmother tells me that saying "sucks balls" demeans me as a woman.

I tend to make people uncomfortable, and therefore enjoy the company of those who also enjoy telling misogynistic jokes, reading bestiality erotica out loud, and rating their shit (both the product and the experience) on a 1-to-10 scale.
On Gather, I'm Looking For ...:

vikings.

Interests

Favorite Music, Artists, Genres:

Metallica, Mew, Trampled By Turtles, Backstreet Boys, Andrew WK, Tom Waits, The Nuge, DJ Assault
Favorite Books, Writers, Genres:

Hogg, American Psycho, Choke, A Clockwork Orange, Death in Venice, The Fountainhead, Lolita, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Road, Robinson Crusoe, A Separate Peace, Stephen King's "Dark Tower" series, Titus Andronicus, Treasure Island, Viking!, Anything by Thomas Mann and Chuck Palahniuk.
Favorite Movies, Actors, Genres:

Waterworld. Most things German.
Favorite TV Shows, Actors:

Dirty Jobs, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Mythbusters, No Reservations, Salute Your Shorts, Seinfeld, South Park.
Favorite Places:

Northern Idaho, Big Sur and Oakland, anywhere in Montana, any forest, anyplace with snow, Buffalo, Paris.
Interests and Activities:

heavy metal, instruments, gay porn, power tools, baking treats, making things, fishing, drawing bugs, collecting books
Wish List:

the Waterworld game for Virtual Boy and a Virtual Boy to play it on.
The sexiest profession is:

Exterminator.

Affiliations

Political Affiliation:

registered Libertarian.

Candidates I support:

I hate them both. Bring back Taft.
Religious Affiliation:

Any cult with free room and board.
Colleges:

Chester College of Bumfuck New England

Major:

Creative Writing
High Schools:

expelled for truancy from the first, graduated from the second.
Other Affiliations:

pro-rights for the accused, pro-choice, pro-right to bear arms, pro-ecological conservation, anti-PETA, anti-(rabid) feminism, anti-capital punishment, anti-procreation, anti-pussification, anti-self-righteousness, anti-FDR
Websites:

http://sewerserpent.com, http://www.sewerserpent.etsy.com

Ping Me

Displaying 10 of 10 Pings

Bryan S., Oct 13, 2008, 12:50PM EDT

Hey crazyass, I was just wondering if you have a profile or e-mail address of some sort that you actually use, as opposed to this bullshit, cum-sucking, worthless gather profile.

The only reason I haven't deleted my profile is because I don't want to lose track of you. Gather sucks a fucking donkey dick, and not even in the libertine, self-God sort of way. It just sucks donkey dick with nothing to gain.

By the way, Gein was a fairly sick son of a bitch. Your thoughts please?

view Bryan's profile | Ping Bryan
Bryan S., Aug 31, 2008, 8:48AM EDT

Well, you could be a stewardess, and I could be a hijacker. It's more horrifying for some reason to slit the throat of a stewardess than a pilot's, in my humble opinion.

view Bryan's profile | Ping Bryan
Bryan S., Aug 13, 2008, 2:33PM EDT

How the hell are you? When are we getting married?

I think 9-11 would be an appropriate date for a wedding. What do you think?

view Bryan's profile | Ping Bryan
Bryan S., Jun 9, 2008, 2:00AM EDT

Pop over where? I'll gladly explain things.

view Bryan's profile | Ping Bryan
Bryan S., Apr 8, 2008, 10:26AM EDT

And, before I forget, I have a special place in SickAnimation.com......check it out:

http://www.sickanimation.com/vow.asp?id=34

view Bryan's profile | Ping Bryan
Bryan S., Apr 8, 2008, 6:24AM EDT

You have excellent tastes in everything. You should post some more pictures of yourself.

view Bryan's profile | Ping Bryan
Bryan S., Apr 8, 2008, 1:54AM EDT

Speaking of the body and it's shenanigans, have you ever heard of harlequin ichthyosis? My friends and I have determined that it's perhaps the greatest joke of them all. I'd be thrilled to send you a copy of our movie "Harvey the Harlequin" one of these days.

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Bryan S., Apr 7, 2008, 8:44AM EDT

The "fortunate" ones think that I'm crazy when I rant about how bad it sucks to have to shit right after a shower. They don't know. They just don't know.

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Bryan S., Apr 7, 2008, 7:07AM EDT

Low expectations are the spice of life, although comparatively speaking I would place them with salt. More to follow...

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Bryan S., Apr 7, 2008, 3:04AM EDT

I'm working the Waterworld project here and there. I fervently hope it meets your standards of excellency. The interpretative dance sparked my interest, but I currently haven't a working video camera. I may do a combination of the collage and an essay. It will blow you, pun intended, out of the water.

Oh, and the dump was great, but I've had better.

Keep up the good work!

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